How's it going Scott? Any updates in the past couple of weeks? Has she moved out?
No, we're currently still doing IHS and my offer on the forever home was rejected by her until she gets her own appraisal to determine what she thinks the value is. Our verbal agreement is to hopefully agree to the equity in the home established by the midpoint between my appraisal and her appraisal. Oregon courts would use this methodology so I'd be surprised if she waffled on this later. We'll see just how outlandish her number is... her appraiser was onsite this weekend so I'm told that 2-3 weeks for his number. I also asked her to show me the email confirming she ordered the appraisal so I at least know she's not dragging her feet. If the number is too high we may have to sell, which she now says she'd prefer NOT to do, but I don't know if I believe that. I've told her the kids are always welcome there in the future to play at the river, etc.
We are mostly civil in a roommate kind of way, with no major blowups between us for about a week. She's acted very, very cold around me and I've largely stayed unaffected. Definitely no love bombing or anything of the sort. Her son turns 18 this weekend and we are jointly taking he and his girlfriend to dinner, but her relationship with him remains strained as well as with her oldest daughter. They've both told me they don't understand where she's at right now and any attempts by the daughter to have meaningful conversation with her are flat out rejected. I don't say much regarding us when talking with her kids and keep it light and just listen.
I formally retained an attorney and she is just waiting in the wings to see how things play out with the real estate deal first. I have no exposure with her regarding the business so thats locked tight and the attorney confirmed.
My own personal well-being is so-so depending on the day. 3 1/2 months since DDay and if I see the forest from the trees, I can see i'm gradually healing. Its a game of inches and its anything but linear while still living together, but progress is progress. I'm past the point of monitoring her, following her around town, etc. I'm slowly strengthening the mindset that she is going to do whatever she wants and I can only control myself. Easier said than done but I've been focusing on work more, steady at the gym, and slowly expanding my long-dormant social circle. I'm well aware living apart would exponentially speed this process but its not logistically feasible right now for me and she refuses to leave at this juncture.
[This message edited by scottmklamath at 7:51 PM, Thursday, May 21st]
