SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I will start with a brief explanation of whats going on. I'm 63 and my wife is 73. Her cell had a cracked which I have been trying to fix for weeks. She finally gave in, the first thing I found was approximately 150 Apple Gift Card photos with the numbers scratched off. She came clean and said been tik tok ing and FB and email, with Stephen Baldwin.

She truly believes it"s him! She has been sending him the cards almost every day. I collect SSD and she collects SS. She also works as a home health aide We are on a very tight budget. She lost her job in Feb. We split bills down the middle and she hasn't paid her personal bills in months nor contributed to the household it has been all on me.

He had asked her if she could take out a loan and send it to him. So she replied to a text she received telling her she was approved for a $7000 load (scam too) the person cleaned out her bank account! She had to close the account. So she started get a psychical check which she would cash and tell me that she couldn't pay for anything.

We have our grandson living with us there was no food for him to eat. I ended up going to food pantries to get him food. He had told me she forced him to show her how to send someone a gift card, he gave in. We found out about all of this almost a week ago. He ended up going to his cousins house, he texted me told me he was staying for at least a few weeks. He is blaming himself for everything.

Tonight he asked her if she could if she could take out one of those tribal loans that charge like 40% interest. She told him she doesn't have a bank account that maybe she could use mine! WTF!
She actually came home tonight and said she had a GREAT idea how to catch up on our bills (Tribal Loan). I don't kown what her paln is but I told her no.

Ok I'll get to the point I am a computer programmer by profession, and yes I have access to a hidden email she created on her computer he must have told her how to do it. Also I bought her the iphone she uses. When I set up her Apple ID I used one of my email address. I have the phone doing an Icloud back up. So I can see the photos of the gift cards. Son and Daughter keep telling her that it is a Romance scam she agrees with them and will stop, she tells me she knows it's not Baldwin. But tells him about our conversations and she really knows it's him! Doesn't look like it will end anytime soon :(

I have reported this twice to the FBI website and filed twice with google to get his Gmail account banned. Apple tried helping me but I did have any photos of the front of the cards. I am here looking for any advice on what I can do next! I'm at a loss and heart broken we have been together for 35 years!

Thanks for Reading!
XO

Welcome to SI and I'm sorry your wife is committing financial infidelity as well as a possible emotional affair (EA). There are some posts pinned to the top of the forum that have lots of great information. The Healing Library is at the top of the site and is another great resource.

One thing that I'll suggest is she see a doctor for a workup to see if she has something medical going on.

Is your WW (wayward wife) owning up to her mistakes and willing to stop? She should read How to Help Your Spouse to Heal From Your Affair by Linda MacDonald. Not Just Friends by Dr Shirley Glass is a good resource, too. You can read them, too. She needs to go NC (no contact) with "Stephen Baldwin" and provide electronic transparency.

Good luck and keep posting.

Thanks for the info. Unfortunately she admits what she is doing, she tells me she loves him and she is not willing to stop. She tells me she thinks it might be a scammer but she goes right back to chatting and believing it really is him. She plays house with me tells me she is done sending him money and she goes and sends more. She has been spending more time with me but then she goes upstairs and tells him everything we talked about!

I also should have mention that we sleep in separate rooms. I have a bad heart and I can't walk up stairs. She is up in our room with the cats, and I have a bedroom on the first floor with my dogs :) Once she goes upstairs she contacts him for hours. I am constantly obsessing about it that I am making myself sick I am starting to have more heart episodes daily. I have a procedure on May 29th. So I can't make any drastic decisions till afterwords. All I do is spy and hope she will come to her senses and stop, which is unlikely.

She herself admits it may be a mental issue she is talking to her therapist about it. Son and daughter keep telling her to go for tests. She tells everyone what they want to hear, then goes behind everyone's back.

I will start reading all your suggestions! Thank you,

XO