SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

So STBWX is getting surgery tomorrow to remove a melanoma from his scalp. The initial biopsy indicates that it might not be too advanced, but they'll know more after the surgery lab results. He hasn't told me anything about the surgery logistics - which hospital, who's driving him, who will help with aftercare. I'm guessing it'll either be his mother or his new girlfriend.

I am ... weirdly numb about it all? I don't know if it's because he and I have only texted about it so far, or if my protective walls are too thick. I feel bad for him, but honestly, I'm also relieved that I'm no longer in a position where I have to worry about his health or take care of him. I feel like I should care more - he's still the guy I was with for 30+ years and the father of my child - but the feeling of concern just isn't there. Is that terrible of me??

Not terrible at all.

You don’t wish him harm BUT you are no longer responsible for him.

I think your feelings are perfectly normal.

And in the future you won’t need to know anything about him. Period.

I hope this gives you some peace that you don’t have to deal with him anymore. Whether things are good or bad.

I totally second what The1stWife just said.

I had similar feelings about my estranged brother after he suffered a devastating stroke and I knew there was nothing we could have done for him anyway besides prayer. But where to draw the line, especially if somebody else in the family tries the guilt tripping. If you haven't heard anything further, consider that a clear signal you need not ask a lot of questions.

Short answer: nope.

Long answer: nope, not all. He burned down the marriage, broke the bonds, and the greatest thing about divorce is that his problems are no longer your circus.

Enjoy that feeling of relief!