Topic is Sleeping.
WhiskeyBlues (original poster member #82662) posted at 4:21 PM on Friday, June 21st, 2024
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[This message edited by WhiskeyBlues at 11:00 PM, Monday, September 22nd]
This0is0Fine ( member #72277) posted at 4:44 PM on Friday, June 21st, 2024
Well, it's a little bit of a dumb thing for a wayward to say since he put himself in the position of not being believed.
I think if we are going to give the benefit of the doubt, or try to improve communication in a way that isn't accusatory, you can change your phrasing.
I don't know if you are in fact saying to him, "I know you're still lying".
Instead you can say, "I still don't trust you." or "I don't believe you".
This communicates your emotional status and doesn't indicate that you are calling him a current liar.
On the other hand, it's entirely possible you are already doing this and then he is saying that you are calling him a liar. Because many WSs are manipulative and will twist what you say because they aren't honest.
Love is not a measure of capacity for pain you are willing to endure for your partner.
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 5:48 PM on Friday, June 21st, 2024
Well, it's a little bit of a dumb thing for a wayward to say since he put himself in the position of not being believed.
^^^This and especially if you have been TT'ed you probably will not believe every word he says anyways. It is a consequence of his behavior that he has to live with unfortunately. Don't do the crime if you don't want to do the time. I mean has he heard of the Boy Who Cried Wolf?
What he doesn't realize is the more he says things like this (and this qualifies in the many posts we have here that are usually titled 'the dumb things WS say') the more you will detach from him and lose respect.
"I'm sick of being told I'm still lying"
Well I'm sure you are sick of feeling like he's still lying because he has 
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
WhiskeyBlues (original poster member #82662) posted at 7:13 PM on Friday, June 21st, 2024
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[This message edited by WhiskeyBlues at 11:01 PM, Monday, September 22nd]
WhiskeyBlues (original poster member #82662) posted at 9:15 AM on Saturday, June 22nd, 2024
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[This message edited by WhiskeyBlues at 11:02 PM, Monday, September 22nd]
HouseOfPlane ( member #45739) posted at 1:34 PM on Saturday, June 22nd, 2024
All I see is 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩
You’ve been heard, WB!
DDay 1986: R'd, it was hard, hard work.
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?”
― Mary Oliver
crazycatlady ( member #12849) posted at 2:13 PM on Saturday, June 22nd, 2024
Visualize your dad hugging you right now. How did that make you feel? Now look at your WH. How does that make you feel?
Your life is intertwined with your WH which makes the obvious difficult to see. He is nowhere near reconciliation territory. He is childish and defensive. I think the best thing for you to do is start an abbreviated 180. Begin to relax the binds he has over you. Take care of your children and you. Prepare for every eventuality. Force yourself to smile and think of your dad’s hugs. You are loved and deserve so much better.
Good luck.
Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none.William Shakespeare "All's Well That Ends Well"D-Day: Nov 30, 2006"For I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright, who art as black as hell, as dark as night." William Shakespeare
HellIsNotHalfFull ( member #83534) posted at 11:40 PM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2024
I hope you can find some peace whiskey. You have put up with way more than anyone should.
Your WH doesn’t get it, probably never will. Call it hubris, or selfish, combination of both. He cares more about himself than the people in his life. Time and time again he has proven this, at least according to your posts.
Where you go from here is completely up to you of course, I hope that you can see the full picture of what you don’t have with your cheater husband and make an informed decision.
Me mid 40s BHHer 40s WW 3 year EA 1 year PA. DDAY 1 Feb 2022. DDAY 2 Jun 2022. DDAY 3/4/5/6/7 July 2024.
Topic is Sleeping.
