Topic is Sleeping.
WhiskeyBlues (original poster member #82662) posted at 2:41 PM on Saturday, January 18th, 2025
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[This message edited by WhiskeyBlues at 11:09 PM, Monday, September 22nd]
InkHulk ( member #80400) posted at 3:19 PM on Saturday, January 18th, 2025
I’m deeply happy for you 💙 Thanks for sharing a ray of sunshine.
People are more important than the relationships they are in.
Webbit ( member #84517) posted at 11:20 PM on Saturday, January 18th, 2025
WhiskeyBlues this a fantastic for you. I’m so
Happy to hear you are sounding happy. It’s just amazing how mindset can change everything!
Oldwounds ( member #54486) posted at 4:18 PM on Sunday, January 19th, 2025
WB-
I don't believe I will ever fully trust him again, he's shown me what he's capable of - but I believe what I'm seeing in him at the moment.
Unfortunately, this is one of those lessons all of us here have learned -- blind trust is never, ever a good idea.
My R has gone great the last few years, but I listen to my gut now, if there is anything at all that sounds weird or feels off, I bring it up. My boundaries are far more important these days than they used to be.
The difference in how I feel, by changing my mindset into letting him show me what our marriage could be like moving forward, is remarkable.
Mindset! You have the power to allow your WS some room to grow and be able to protect you all at the same time.
Knowing I have the power to choose each day is a powerful asset. I also get to choose my approach to life, my kids, my M -- I have a vote on how I attack the day.
Sounds like some awesome progress WB, I hope you get to heal some more!
[This message edited by Oldwounds at 4:19 PM, Sunday, January 19th]
Married 36+ years, together 41+ years
Two awesome adult sons.
Dday 6/16 4-year LTA Survived.
M Restored
"It is better to conquer our grief than to deceive it." — Seneca
Groot1988 ( member #84337) posted at 7:55 PM on Friday, January 31st, 2025
Thank you for sharing!
I am a lot like you were... We are about 13 months from dday and honestly I despise him most of the time, but I am honest about it.
I will tell him "I don't like you much today." He gets it and he knows it will take me a long time to ever like him again. I love him, yeah but like him and want to let him be there for me? It is hard.
I drank a lot like you did and it really just prolonged my healing, I now only drink a glass of wine at night (not every night). So I hope that now that I have slowed down, I can become like you and start to heal.
I was just taking chunks out of him, and not really offering any sort of opportunity to really show me what kind of husband he could be.
This hit me hard... what a great summary of what I do 
The difference in how I feel, by changing my mindset into letting him show me what our marriage could be like moving forward, is remarkable. The affair isn't as centre stage as it once was, and it feels really really good. It still pops into my head frequently but I don't feed the thoughts in the way I did before, I'm forcing my brain to distract itself and it's actually working!
I am so happy for you!
Married 5 years (together 11) Four children Me Bs 36Him WH 35- 4 month PA Dday Oct 6- lots of TT final disclosure Jan 16.
"If we walk through hell we might as well hold hands, we should make this a home"- citizen soldier
Topic is Sleeping.
